couch talk

The World Would Be A Better Place If……


1. People would sing to one another. Even if they’re complete strangers, just start singing to them. You’ll either get a strange look or you’ll make them smile. Either way, it will make you feel good.

2. Danced in public. Listen, Elaine Benis from Seinfeld has NOTHING on me!!!

3. Rid ourselves of reality T.V. I think people get bad ideas from it. Plus, there are so many bad reality t.v. shows out there, do we really want to watch girls wearing tiaras and having tantrums??? This is not entertainment, people.

4. We quit sensationalizing celebrities (dead or alive). It’s no wonder alot of people have self image issues.

5. We had a cure for cancer. Who hasn’t been affected by this directly or indirectly?

6. We did random acts of charity. I don’t just mean by providing monetary assistance to those in need, but helping people with their groceries, or shoveling someone’s driveway.

7. People didn’t use Facebook as a bully pulpit. I’ve been bullied by my own family on facebook for a completely innocent posting. They know who they are and they are no longer family.

8. All members of congress and the senate have a three year term with no chance for re-election. This dis-engages them from other organizations who may provide additional monetary assistance to those we elect into office.

9. Salaries of post elected officials could be ceased. These people make millions of dollars off book deals, consulting fees and speaking engagements. (Or, if you are a politician from Illinois, you’re making 65 cents a day in prison). Why would the government keep paying them for not doing ANYTHING?

10. While grocery shopping, you rammed your cart (accidentally, of course), into Bradley Cooper’s ass.

11. Dogs could talk.

12. Dogs could pick up their own dog poop.

13. We got rid of the mail system. Paying bills online, sending in forms, documents, certifications, blah, blah, blah….can all be done electronically or by fax.

14. People who are on welfare or food stamps get tested for drugs. This is to ensure that they don’t use our tax dollars on drugs, but rather the basic means of survival with the chance of bettering their lives.

15. People would put less emphasis on money and more emphasis on what makes you happy.

16. Men really understood women. And, I’m not saying “vice versa”, because men will already state that they understand us. Case closed.

17. I could stop screaming obscenities like, “SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL THE POLICE!, YOU’RE FULL OF SH*T!, and my all time favorite, “I’LL KICK YOUR ASS!”, while sleeping. These have all been dutifully recorded by my husband (thanks honey).

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