As I was going through my collection of “Wise Words To Live By” Board on Pinterest I found a common thread — A lot of them had to do with honesty.
Perhaps I’m too honest of a person and some people don’t appreciate this fine quality. Jumping down one’s throat to let them know they are full of bullshit can become a detriment in preserving one’s relationship. Here is a shocking revelation — I don’t plan on changing.
I look at it this way — I’ll be fifty years old in April (gasp!). Why would I want to start changing my behavior now? Do I need certain people to approve of me? I’m past that point. One shouldn’t have to try to squeeze into another’s life if they aren’t wanted because of the way they are. What I do expect from others is honesty; if you can’t find that attribute in the pocket within your soul, then maybe we should part ways.
I’ll admit I’m not a completely honest individual. I’ve told lies — who hasn’t? But, when you lie to a person or a group of people on the most fundamental level for the sake of making yourself look perfect or accomplished, it becomes an irksome quality which is not admired by most. Why do some people feel the need to impress others’ with their fabricated perfection? I don’t get it. I would rather have my many flaws compared to somebody who tells me their life is pure bliss.
You can count me out with having a relationship with a perfect person because they would be as boring as hell. I would like to have a conversation with someone who has every day problems just like me. Well, maybe not just like me because that would be a catastrophe. But telling me you got a ticket for speeding that day, walked out of a bathroom with toilet paper on the heel of your shoe, or complain that your two year old doesn’t like to poop makes for fun conversation. I can relate to those things; they are random irritations that can be fodder for amusement. Sitcoms have been written and highly successful about every day stuff — look at Seinfeld!
When I encounter a situation where I feel I’m being lied to or taken advantage of, I take the time to assess the situation and look at the facts. This takes about 30 seconds. This is after taking a few deep breaths and blocking out any anger that may whoosh to the surface which would cause me to start swearing with every other word that comes out of my mouth. With calm bias, I look or listen to the other person’s point of view. If I still think they are full of crap, I call them on it using swear words with every other word that comes out of my mouth. It sucks being taken advantage of, wouldn’t you agree? I’m sure all of us have had this happen to us at one point or another in our lives; it happens much too often in our society for the sake of self-gratification.
Throw him under the bus.
After four months, I quit a job because I was hired to do a certain task and was repeatedly beat down by my boss who hired me specifically to do the same. To tie this story up in a nice tidy box, he basically had tied my hands around my back. So, I told my boss he didn’t have a back bone. I didn’t use those exact words because I was trying to be politically correct and of course, honest at the same time. The man was supposed to have my back. Unfortunately, he was never there to have my back, but rather kicked me and his entire team in the ass — time and time again.
I got into a screaming match with a salesman who wasn’t doing his job. While fifteen people watched with their jaws dropped open, I ripped into this guy like I was a lioness ripping into fresh kill. For that, I was sent to an Anger Management Class. I’ll also freely state that my manager also had a few choice words for the salesman, so it didn’t make me feel like I was going to lose my job. We tag-teamed the guy and eventually got what we wanted. She had my back.
In both of these situations, people would come up to me afterward and say, “God, I wish I had the nerve to say what you did.
Please consider this blog post a public service announcement for what I’m about to say:
What in the world is holding you back? Fear? Anxiety? If you’ve done your homework and have your facts straight before you confront someone about their lies or whatever crap it is that they’ve heaped upon you, you shouldn’t feel anything but remorse for them. Frankly, they just don’t get it. They use excuses to hide behind their lies, they make comments to you for which they didn’t have all the facts, and they dress funny. Don’t expect apologies from people like this — they are always right.
I’ve gotten to a point in my life that if I see something that isn’t right and it affects me personally and/or professionally, I’m not going to shut up and take it lying down. I feel that I’ve earned my battle scars in life to stand up for my convictions even if it means gaining a few more scars in the process. At least when I go to bed at night I can go to sleep with a clear conscience in knowing I stood up for what I believe was the right choice.
One of my favorite quotes is, “Some people think I say inappropriate things…I prefer to think of it as radical honesty.” The other is Nike’s famous saying, “Just Do It.” Below is a gallery of quotes I truly love.
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and your beliefs. After you’ve cleared the air and voiced your opinion, it’s really up to the other person to either fess up and apologize for the infraction, or perhaps they feel you’re on the wrong page and will totally disagree. However it turns out, it is at this point in time that you can either gloss over the incident and just forget about it, or wean them out of your life like taking a baby off the bottle.
Honesty is for the strong. Bullshit and excuses is for the weak.