Ok, people…..

Did you read this story? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44677628/ns/health-skin_and_beauty/

Let me give you the short version: This lady from Los Angeles (this picture is NOT her), had a boob job to replace her already fake boobs, and needless to say, she got a “uniboob”. Now, let’s not confuse this with a unibrow, or else you’d look like the Elephant Man.

Per the report, “Normally, breast implants are placed under the breast itself or under the muscle behind the breast, each nestled in a separate “pocket” created by the plastic surgeon. If the pocket is mistakenly made too close to the middle of the chest, though, the implant can work its way through the small opening, migrating towards its twin until both implants are “kissing.”"

Wow.

So, if I were this woman, I would go into the plastic surgeon’s office, lift up my shirt and say, “WTF?” Were you drinking while on the job?!! My boobs look like a ledge you can place a few planters, candlesticks, or a couple of discarded bottles of beer!!!”

Her Chest is now a Counter. Yes! step up to the counter, but take a number first, please.

On top of this whole Uniboob situation, the surgeon took it upon himself to give her an unwanted eyelift to remove a scar which now does not allow her to completely close her eyes. NICE.

Have you seen anyone ever sleep with their eyes open? It’s Fricking CREEPY. Creepy, I tell ya! I watch my dog, Sarge – he sleeps with his eyes rolled back into his head, but his eyelids don’t completely shut. It’s really scary looking – especially on a 100 pound German Shepard, whose eyes when rolled back into his head, are blood red sockets.

Can someone please call an Exorcist?

Here’s the bottom line: If you ever want to get plastic surgery, do your homework on the plastic surgeon BEFORE you go under his knife. It turns out that this guy was not even board certified and didn’t have the proper credentials to even do plastic surgery.

Really? Shocker……considering this chick now has ONE boob to span across her whole chest.

Check the Doctor’s credentials. Ask for referrals. Do your homework.

Personally, I have never had plastic surgery, nor do I intend to have it in the future. If my boobs decide to fall below the falt line of gravity, so be it. I know my husband will love me regardless of my sagging boobs. He says he married me for my sparkling personality anyway.

But, he has one question….”What do I do with the other hand if you only have one boob?”

Answer: Remote.